


Soulmark

by orphan_account



Series: soulmate au [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-24
Updated: 2014-10-24
Packaged: 2018-02-22 10:16:34
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2504207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam Winchester finds out he's Dean's platonic soulmate at age eight. It's a long time before his body gets any sort of memo, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Soulmark

When Dean's soulmark swims to the surface of his arm at age twelve, Sam was finally beating his older brother in a wrestling match. It was all for naught, though, as Dean flipped them over while Sam was distracted looking at the light coming from Dean's forearm. Dean pinned Sam, and he couldn't get out.

"Don't get distracted, Sammy. No matter what's happening."

"Shut up, De! What does your arm say?"

Dean shifts off his little brother, shrugs. Sam sits up and grabs Dean's arm. Etched in pretty purple scrawl - platonic soulmate - is both _Sam_  and _Castiel_. Sam smiles up at Dean; he's Dean's  _soulmate_ _._ He's going to be the best little brother ever. They're going to be together all their lives and in heaven, too. Dean hugs Sam to his chest. 

"No getting rid of me now, Sammy." He kisses his brother's forehead.

-

Dean burns Castiel off his arm in the middle of the night; Dad said Sam is his only responsibility. Sam is horrified when he wakes up to see his brother in the worst pain he's ever been in.

-

Sam traces patterns over his arm in class. He's fifteen, and though it's common, he still hasn't received his soulmark. It bugs him. Sometimes he can feel something stirring, an 'E' and a 'Z' but then they morph into a 'G' and an 'A' before washing back under his skin. One time, a 'C' and a 'D' faintly swirled around his arm, but they too dissolved. The 'D' was obviously for Dean, Sam's known since he was eight that he and his brother were destined to be together. But the other letters haunt him when he's idle. 

When class is over, Sam packs his backpack and heads to the unorganized school parking lot. In the farthest row is parked the Impala, and inside it is Dean. Sam dodges the upperclassmen loitering by their cars to reach Dean. He yanks open to passenger door of the Impala and climbs in. Dean yells about treating his baby right. Sam sticks his tongue out. 

"So how was school, nerd?"

"School was school. You know I'm ahead in this district."

"I know, I know. You only bitch about it all the time. Dad said he's almost done, and then we'll blow out as usual, Sammy. Maybe the next town will let you test up a grade."

"I hope so."

"No whining about staying?"

"This place is a gross dump, Dean. I have no chance of getting to college with this the last school on my transcript."

"Sucks for everyone who has to live here."

"The college system isn't fair, Dean, you know that."

Dean shrugs. "Good thing I'm not in it, then."

" _Dean."_

Dean gives Sam a sharp look while he starts the Impala. "I don't need to fucking go to college, Sam. I've told you a billion times. Don't even fucking start on that shit again."

The drive to their motel is one of awkward silence.

-

Sam hangs up on Dean as he drops his groceries onto his kitchen counter. Dean's having fun at some convention in Texas with one of his internet friends named Charlie with her soulmate Dorothy and their girlfriend Gilda. Sam smiles. A year ago Dean was basically friendless; the breakup with Cassie took it's toll on Dean, and in his anger Dean isolated himself from all his previous friends. 

Groceries start getting put away as Sam shakes himself from thoughts of Dean. Cereal and oatmeal goes into his cabinets and his greens go into the bottom drawer of the fridge. As he pulls up the store's coupon packet they place inside grocery bags, Sam sighs. There's an ad for a company that specializes in "finding where in the world your soulmate is!"

Sam throws the coupon pack into the trash. He doesn't need the reminder that he's broken; he's twenty-seven and still no soulmark. The living room light gets flipped on, and the couch groans under Sam's weight. Hair falls forward as Sam places his head into his hands. There isn't even an 'X' on his arm indicating he has no soulmate. He's just  _broken._  

Quietly, Sam hopes he never finds his soulmates. He's obviously not good enough to even know their names. 

-

Sam's at a lecture hall waiting in the cafeteria line for lunch when his arm starts glowing. His eyes squint; why now in all of his thirty years? Sam lifts his arm. In the same purple scrawl that writes _Sam_ on Dean's arm is _Castiel._ The name sounds almost familiar to Sam, but he can't place it. He looks up and around the cafeteria until his gaze lands on the man standing behind him in line. The man lightly caresses his name on Sam's arm. Sam swallows.

"It's nice to meet you. Are you Dean or Sam?"

Sudden realization shakes Sam to his core. He remembers being eight years old and terrified because his brother was burnt horribly on his arm, right under  _Sam._ He remembers years of Dean painfully shrugging off rude strangers asking what his soulmate did to him for him to have permanently erased them from his body. 

Sam pulls Castiel -  _one of his_ _soulmates! -_ out of the lunch line and into an empty lecture room. Castiel lets Sam guide him about with a trusting look on his face. Shame pours through Sam. He knows nothing about Castiel, but he's landed himself two of the worst possible soulmates: one doesn't want him, and the other is Sam - a broken mess of a soulmate. Dean still hasn't shown up on Sam's arm. 

Sam awkwardly clears his throat. "I'm Sam. My brother's Dean."

"I'm sensing a 'but' in your statements." He even does the air quotes with is fingers. 

"You don't want us, Castiel. We wouldn't be very good soulmates."

"I don't think you get to decide if you and your brother are good for me,  _Sam._ In case it has escaped your notice, I am an adult. I can make determinations for myself."

"Dean burned your name off his arm the night it popped up." Sam feels horrible at the crushed look that crosses his soulmate's face. 

Castiel gingerly runs his fingers along Sam's arm, over his name. "Are you going to burn me off as well?"

"No." Sam swallows, and he hugs Castiel. Hearing your soulmate doesn't want you deserves that small kindness, at least, Sam thinks.

Castiel buries his head into Sam's shoulder. "Why don't you even want to know me before you reject me?"

"Dean doesn't love very well, and it's not about me not wanting you. I just can't."

" _Why?"_

"You saw why. I didn't even know you were my soulmate until just now. You've been waiting, fantasizing, and I just..." a shrug. "I don't think you should want me."

Castiel pulls himself out of Sam's embrace. "Because your body was uncontrollably late? That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard, and I have heard a numerous amount of stupid things, Sam. It doesn't matter that you just figured out I was your soulmate, or one of them. Just because I've known your name doesn't mean we both aren't strangers. What ridiculous thoughts have you been thinking?"

Sam hangs his head, but Castiel's hands are there to gently raise it back up. "Sam, let me get to know you."

-

Dean went ballistic when he saw that Castiel had all but moved in with Sam. He was even more pissed when Castiel revealed that he was not only Sam's soulmate but Dean's. There were heated words exchanged about not wanting Castiel and waving his scarred arm around, but two months after Dean settled back into his house down the block he was begging for Castiel's forgiveness. Castiel granted it. 

Life with two of his soulmates was good. Dean was himself; he and Sam got on like they always did, together for better or worse. Castiel was weird, but Sam enjoyed living with him. Sam would die for Castiel at this point just like he would for Dean. Dean and Castiel were like a married couple, much to Sam's amusement, Dean's consternation, and Castiel's enjoyment. Castiel liked being as close as he could to Sam and Dean, rules of platonic affection be damned. So long as they knew where they stood with each other, what was the point denying themselves affection? Sam sided with Castiel on that one.

-

At age thirty-four, Sam's asked about the swirling letters on his arm one morning by a sleepy faced Castiel. Sam shrugs; he's come a long way from being devastatingly torn up about not knowing the name, but it still bugs him not evening knowing the name of his last (two?) soulmate(s). Castiel dances his fingers over Sam's arm, his favorite gesture of touching Sam. 

"Maybe they keep changing their name?"

Sam frowns. "I don't want a con artist as a soulmate. I've been clean for years now, Cas."

"Other types of people change their names, Sam. Maybe someone in witness protection? A performer?"

"I kinda don't want to speculate."

Castiel pouts, but he backs off. Sam only rarely is in the right mood to talk about the letters changing on his arm. He still, in his darker moments, believes he's broken and unworthy of soulmates. Castiel interlocks his fingers with Sam's. 

"I want to take you out to see a movie today."

Sam laughs. "It's been years, Cas. I know Dean's taught you how to ask to go do activities without making them sound like dates."

"I wanted to make you laugh. Asking you out is a surefire way to do it."

"You're horrible, Cas."

Castiel laughs while he pulls Sam up from his chair. "Yes, I am. Now go get dressed."

After Sam gets dressed and Castiel drives him to the theater, Sam starts feeling an itch on his arm. He tries to ignore it while waiting in line with Castiel to buy snacks, and he fights through the irritation throughout the movie. Castiel asks him if he's okay. Sam waves his soulmate off, but Castiel rubs circles on Sam's arm the rest of the afternoon. 

It's while they're walking through a little flowershop on the way back to the parking lot that Sam's arm lights up for the second time. Castiel does his best to shield Sam's arm from onlookers, but Sam can feel people staring at him, a full grown man just now flashing his soulmark. He's brought out of his fog when Castiel tugs on his hair. 

"It says Gadreel, with no 'Z' in sight. The name is in red."

Sam groans. That means he has to wait for who knows how long this time. Castiel pushes Sam in the direction of the restroom. 

"Are you okay, Sam?"

Sam sits on a sink and rests his head against Castiel's chest. "No. Did you say it was red?"

"Yes."

Sam swallows. A romantic soulmate. "I don't want to meet them."

"Why? If it's not thinking you're good enough, Sam Winchester, I will pull my hair out."

Sam wetly lets out a laugh. "No, for once it's not that, Cas. What if I actually meet Gadreel, and they don't like you? You kinda act like a boyfriend, you know."

"Then we talk about it, set boundaries, and you kick Gadreel to the curb if we can't settle on boundaries. I'm not going to stop touching you, Sam. I'll limit myself, but I'm not giving it up. You're my soulmate, too, even if we don't love each other romantically."

Sam nuzzles against Castiel's chest. "Yeah, yeah, you cuddle bunny. Cas will always get Sam time."

"Good." 

-

Sam meets Gadreel at a CVS when he's picking up some tampons for Charlie, who is currently visiting Dean. Gadreel is buying soap. Sam only figures it's Gadreel because of his name peaking out of Gadreel's shirt sleeve. Sam turns back to stare at the feminine hygiene products. Should he introduce himself? He doesn't need a romantic soulmate, and life alongside Dean and Castiel with frequent appearances from friends is definitely keeping him happy; this could mess everything up. 

A box of tampons gets pulled from the shelf, and Sam takes a deep breath. He turns and walks forward a bit. 

"Gadreel?"

Gorgeous green eyes turn to look at Sam. Sam swallows; Gadreel's jaw is very strong and Sam refuses to take his eyes lower. 

"I am Gadreel. Why?" 

Sam nervously runs a hand through his hair; it's getting long, he needs to ask Dean to cut it. "I'm Sam? I think you're one of my soulmates?"

Gadreel goes very still. "Truly?"

"Yeah, I mean, you're on my arm?" Sam rolls his sleeve up to show Gadreel. He can feel Gadreel's eyes trail over  _Gadreel_ in red and _Castiel_ in purple. 

Gadreel nods but says nothing further, and Sam sighs. Gadreel doesn't seem to know how to go about this either. If only Cas were here, Sam thinks.

"Do you want to maybe talk back at my place? Yours?" Sam thinks for a second. "Just in the parking lot?"

"Whatever you prefer, Sam."

"Uh, my place? I have to deliver." He waves the tampon box. 

"Of course, Sam." 

-

Dating Gadreel is awkward. He doesn't understand a lot of body language, and is completely a virgin to TV. Sam feels he does a lot of explaining their first few weeks of dating, and he can feel Gadreel's frustration at not understanding all that Sam's telling him.

They also have a bunch of hangups to work through. Sam has to explain his soulmate problem to Gadreel, and Gadreel has to explain that he's done terrible things in his past; he's killed, he's been to prison, and he's committed identity fraud. That piece of information explains why Sam's soulmark kept changing.

But dating is enjoyable. Gadreel doesn't care that Castiel hangs off of Sam almost like a lover, and he is patient with Dean's bouts of aggression. Gadreel is awkwardly sweet and likes things to move slowly. It drives Sam mad when they're sat close and making out, but he doesn't push. Gadreel will let Sam know when he's ready.

They mostly just read together and cuddle. Sam feels content, and when asked Gadreel gets the little smile he reserves just for Sam while saying he's the happiest he's ever been. 

Having found all his soulmates is good, Sam thinks.


End file.
